This morning as I was reading my Bible I realized that Noah was the great great great great grandson of Cain. Yes, Cain. The first son of Adam and Eve. The son who gave God "fruits of the soil" for a sacrifice. The son that God did not look on with favor because of this sacrifice. The son who became angry because of this. The son who killed his brother because of his anger. The son who was cursed because of this murder and was driven from the land. Yes, this was the son that had a descendant that God chose because this descendant (Noah) was the only righteous man on earth who, the Bible says, "walked with God."

Wow, doesn't that give you hope that God can still use your existence even if you have messed up big time.

Now that is not the only thing I got from this story. The passage says:

Gen. 4: 4 The Lord looked with favor on Able and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
Then the Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."

The one thing that kept popping into my head when I was reading this was "Joel Olsteen"! I know that sounds crazy, and I am not a Joel Olsteen groupie, but I just realized how important what he preaches is. (and I guess I have just promoted his new book, "Your best life now"). I realized how negative attitudes can lead to sin, and I can look back over my life and see how negative thoughts led to me behaving in wrong ways, which led to consequenses that have determined the direction of my life. Now that doesn't mean we should be fake and gooey happy all the time, but if we can take our thoughts off of what appers to be a crummy or horrible situation and focus on and continually think on what the Bible really says about us and our life and the world and God, we won't be meditating about our bad situation... and our attitude will automatically change... and then

"All things [can] work together for good for those who love God and who are called according to his purpose..." and God can take a messed up life and change the course of the world.

I use to think going to the pool was fun. I stood there laughing at myself as I stood two feet from the side of the pool where my 5 year old, my 3 year old, and my 2 year old were playing in the shallow end while standing two feet from my stroller where my 1 year old was happily sweltering in the sun thinking this is normal. (He doesn't yet realize that 1 year olds do actually go swimming. :-)

As I stand there looking at the cool water getting my feet wet every few minutes to stable a falling child, feeling splashes from the pool every so often to cool my baking skin, asking some stranger to watch two of my kids in the water and one child on land so I can take another one to the bathroom... I am reminded why I haven't been to the pool since it opened two months ago. It makes me laugh even more to read this and imagine what I looked like. I think we'll just stick with our 2 1/2 foot deep pool in our back yard for now. At least here I can get wet.

For all of you soccer fans, yesterday was a sad day in France. Not only did the French National soccer team lose to Italy, but they lost on a bad note. The man who was voted the best soccer player of the world cup tournament, head butted another player in the chest throwing him to the ground because of a racial slur in the last few minutes of the game. He got a red card throwing him out of the game and he walked to the locker room not to return even for the awards ceremony.

Ken and I were very sad. We loved Zidane. He was one of the oldest players of the game and came out of retirement to help his country win a World Cup, and many people believed he would had done that had he not been thrown out of the game.

My heart broke for him because isn't that so much like many of us. Just as our greatest moment has the possibility of becoming a reality, we blow it before the end of the "race" or "game" and before the awards. We end up walking away embarrassed for how we reacted or responded wishing no one had ever seen that. We forget that God says in Romans 12 "it is mine to avenge says the Lord." We feel like we must win the argument or fight, or we must pay back a wrong someone has done to us. We often do these things behind closed doors in the privacy of our own home where God, in His grace, spares us the public humiliation. But God has seen everything.

I have been trying to teach my kids that we are suppose to return evil with good, and if their brother or sister is mean to them then they must think of something nice to do for them. 1 Peter 3:9 says, "Do not repay evil with evil, or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." It is definitely easier for me to teach them this, than to put into practice, because my human nature (especially as a competitive athlete) is to "head butt the other guy in the chest." Of course I've never actually head butted Ken in the chest :-), but figuratively speaking I've done it hundreds of times.

Pray for Zidane's salvation. He is an Algerian who was raised in France and has probably never heard of our Savior. This is just another one of my dreams: to reach athletes like Zidane who have a platform they can use for God's glory.

God is so awesome!! I don't know why any of us ever stop praying for something and believing that God will do it.

I put in one blog about my struggle one day with my kids and I don't know if it was just my prayer or if my friends were praying who read it, but the next day I woke up and I had wisdom in dealing with my kids! When they were disobeying or not responding when I was talking to them or calling them, God gave me wisdom in the heat of the moment and now my husband and I are implementing this new protocol in training and discipline... and it's working!! Why am I so shocked? God just never ceases to amaze me!

He knows what we need when we need it and is often just waiting for us to ask. There is probably so much he wants to give us that we miss out on because we try to figure it out ourselves or do it on our own. We read books, we talk to our friends, we join groups, which are all good, but sometimes God just wants us to turn to Him; to acknowledge that He is Creator of the Universe, that He can meet all of our needs. Why is it so hard for us to understand that He personally would want to give us the wisdom we need to raise the child He created?

Jesus says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks the door will be opened.
Which of you , if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?"

Thank you Jesus for loving us so much! You're so awesome!

Were you ever so ashamed of your actions that you were embarrassed to pray to God? I sure hope my kids don't need too much counseling when they get older :-) I don't know why it shocks me so much that they are ungrateful, complain, talk back, argue, test every boundary set... but don't we do the same things... don't I do the same thing toward my husband? I mean I actually threw a fit today in front of them because they didn't follow the hundreth command I had given them, and then I wonder where they get it from.

"Please forgive me Lord and help me recognize that yelling doesn't change their hearts or glorify You. It only brings shame on me and You. Thank you for your forgiveness. Please give me wisdom in the heat of the moment, and protect my kids hearts from their maniac mom :-).

Give ear to my words O Lord, consider my sighing.
Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray.
Morning by morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; morning by morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

But I, by your great mercy, will come into your house; in reverence will I bow down toward your holy temple.
Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness because of my enemies- make straight your way before me.

Psalm 5:1-3, 7-8

As I read this passage to my kids tonight as they were going to bed, I realized this was my prayer as we prepare to go to France. As we enter into this new realm of what I call "charging hell with a water pistol", I really do believe God wants to drench France with the power of the Holy Spirit, and may He use us to do that.

Even as I say that statement, I think, "in reverence will I bow down toward your holy temple. Lead me in your righteousness because of my enemies- make straight your way before me." I have no clue which way to turn to raise up generations to come to praise my God, but He does.

I want so badly to make a difference in this world. I want so badly to be righteous enough for God to use me.

I pray the power of God be poured out on France in spite of me.

Did any of you see the upset of France beating Brazil in the semifinals for the world cup? Ken and I were once again jumping up and down around our house (we seem to do that a lot). More importantly did you see the French fans? They were jumping up and down and going crazy. Now my philosophy is if we can get crazy for a sports team or rock concert, as believers we should get just as excited about our God. So I now have a new dream and that is to fill a soccer stadium with French people all shouting and singing praises to God, and I believe it will happen and God will allow me to be a part of pulling it off. (Now if you truly know me you know that would be a God thing because I can hardly organize meals for a week more less anything with details.) :-)

This was written initially for our Team France (a group of us going over to Paris, France to plant a church), but I thought it had some awesome truths others might benefit from.

Is everybody getting excited about France?! Are you packing your bags? Are you believing and speaking the impossible. Ken and I tell people without hesitation that we are leaving in September- October. This week the Bible story the kids and I are doing all week is the story where Jesus feeds the 5,000 through the boy who gave Jesus 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread. We talked about how 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread could not even feed our family… and yet at just the right time God multiplied the food to not only the right amount, but they had food left over.

As I look at our support and as most of you look at yours, what’s coming in monthly right now could not even feed your family for a month, but Ken and I believe God wants to show himself through our team, not only in planting a large vibrant church, but also in how we get there. We also believe that Avant (the organization we are going with) took into account many issues, and spent much time in prayer in choosing this time table. Therefore we believe God is going to do it. This is just one of the many first and crazy things we are going to believe so that the world can see all of Jesus and none of us.