40 days of Fasting and Renewal

I am so proud of my husband... He just completed his second 40 day fast yesterday. He and I did a fast in 1998 along with many from the Campus Crusade for Christ organization founded by Bill Bright who sort of brought the idea of fasting back into the 21st Century. In 1998 Ken fasted all food and took in limited nutrients. I fasted all solid food, but kept my calorie intake up (soups, ensure, shakes, juice, etc.) because I was already very small and was coaching a girls track team and running with them. Anyway, it was an amazing experience for both of us.

You can read more about his recent fast on his blog... but the most amazing thing about it was that unlike 9 years ago, he has a family and he was around food all the time and could not take alot of breaks where he could just go hide and lay around when he felt tired or weak. I know humanly speaking it had to be unbearable temptation.... But during this fast instead of going and hiding when it was dinner time, he was often the one in the kitchen making some gourmet meal, often including dessert for the whole family. He was such a servant. He also went to a number of family functions where there was lots of food and desserts and people... and he quietly went about helping with all our kids at meal times so he would not have to announce to the world he was fasting. I know he doesn't want all this praise, but I am just so proud of him. I know how hard it is to fight "the flesh"... and he won (well Christ won).

It has been an interesting time for me though... I feel like I sort of fasted vicariously through him and grew spiritually in amazing ways. I did fast off and on with a "Daniel fast" our Church is doing, but for the most part I just supported him and cheered him on, watched God grow us closer together, watched God grow both of us, and am amazed at how He continues to clarify the vision He has given us.

God has definitely confirmed our hearts are definitely for Europe, not just for France... and we are not sure of all the details yet, but just as the last day of the fast came, God began moving in ways that we are excited to see the fulfillment of.

From "Magnificent Mile" to "Battleship Half-Marathon" God is still in control

God has once again surpassed my expectations. Two weekends ago I opened the season with a 5k (March of Dimes 5k). Didn't run a great time, but I was thankful to win. This past weekend I ran the first race in the local Grand Prix road racing series. It was a mile race, the event I ran in college, but not something I was looking forward to. My college teammates and I have a saying, "As you get older you run longer because the short races are just too painful to train for and to race.

Last season I ran a 10 mile race, something I never chose to do on purpose because it just seemed too long and painful. But because there was prize money, and it was in a small town, and we needed Christmas money to buy presents for our kids, I decided to think of it as a long run day, hope no one good showed up, and see if God might just bless us.... Well, that happened. I actually ran a great time, won the race, and really enjoyed myself. The race was so much more relaxed than the intense mile and 5k races I have run for years.

After that race I began to set my sights on a half-marathon because... well all the real runners run marathons and half-marathons. As we began looking into it, we realized how much it was going to cost to enter a race... and then you have to pay for housing and gas and food... and where we were at in life (then and even now) that was just not going to happen. So I chalked it up to a good idea and decided to run whatever God opened up in our town and that we could afford.

So after this opening mile race of the Grand Prix series, and not really training for it, I found myself pleasantly surprised. I ran a decent time (5:26), won the masters, unknowingly broke the NC state masters record, got 8th overall right at the back end of the elite pack, and was very excited to experience the feeling of running fast again. Now after the race is where God showed up, and I believe revealed to me His blessing for waiting on him and not getting all stressed out because what I wanted to begin doing last season didn't happen.

A race director and coach from UNC Chapel Hill that I have known for years came up to me and asked if I'd be interested in running two championship races he was helping put on. One was a local 5k (The Second Empire 5k) and the other was a half-marathon (OBX Half-Marathon) at the Outer Banks in NC. He then said he would pay my entry fees and housing for my whole family, and that I very likely would win some prize money.

I sort of stood there in unbelief. Every runner wants to be an invited elite runner where the race director pays your expenses to come and participate in their race. So I stood there in awe of God's timing and His ways. I didn't try to force things to happen last year, and now God has gone beyond my expectations. I am being invited all expenses paid to do something I was trying to force into happening last year... okay, so now I have to train for a half-marathon I wasn't really preparing for, but I guess God also has a sense of humor in his surprises.

In all this God reminds me that when His timing is perfect, everything will fall into place for Ken and I and our kids to go to Europe and help plant dynamic radical churches that will reach this generation... all expenses paid.

I Have Fought the Good Fight, I Have Finished the Race, I Have Kept the Faith

I love this post by Pastor Jim of Enon Chapel in Midway Park, NC... because my dream in life was always to make an Olympic Team as a runner.

The 1981 Oscar winning film, Chariots of Fire, tells the true life story of two men, Eric Liddell and Harold Abrahams, and their paths to and involvement in the Games of the VIII Olympiad (1924) in Paris. In an early scene in the movie, Harold Abrahams, has just suffered his first-ever defeat in a race. Afterwards, he sits alone pouting in the bleachers. His girlfriend approaches him and tries to encourage him. He rudely rejects her efforts and bellows in rage, “If I can’t win, I won’t run!” Calmly and wisely she replies, “If you don’t run, you can’t win.”

Abrahams took her counsel and continued his pursuit of Olympic gold. He qualified for the British National team and sailed to France to compete. At 7:00 PM (local time in Paris) on July 7, 1924, Harold Abrahams won the Olympic Gold Medal in the hundred-meter dash, beating all the American favorites, including the 1920 Gold medal winner, Charlie Paddock.

Eric Liddell, who grew up a missionary kid and eventually went back to China with his family, represented Britain in these same Olympics. He was known for his conviction not to run on Sunday even in the face of winning an Olympic medal. He therefore forfeited his 100m race, and ran the 400m the next day, beating the race favorite and setting a new world record. He is a hero of mine and made two of my favorite quotes: "When I run I feel God's pleasure." and "God made me for a purpose; that purpose was China, but He also made me fast."

Abram's was definitely faithful to continue his dream and not quit and his dream came true, but Eric was faithful unto death serving Christ on the mission field in China. He spent 18 years after his Olympic medal in China, his last couple of years at a rural mission station in Shaochang where they were desperately short of medical help and the living conditions were rough. He was then moved to a safe camp for missionaries when the Japanese took over the mission station during the Chinese and Japanese war. He died there of a brain tumor, many think due to stressful work conditions and malnutrition.

God gives so many of us dreams that we do not need to give up on, but do we keep on running when our dreams do or do not come true? Do we have a view of the lost as we chase after the dreams God has put in our heart? Can you really say, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. (2 Tim. 4:7)?

What would you do?

I read this post by Tim Stevens on his blog, Leading Smart. It's a real gut check on how many judgements I make every day about those around me. I would probably have ran over to see if I could help because I'm the ultimate "rubberknecker". My judgements do, though, keep me from sharing Christ every day in many situations. What would you have done in this situation?

On Saturday it was my goal to stay home all day, but just after lunch I had to run down to the corner nursery to pick up my fertilizer. I was on my way back when I noticed something very strange. There was a car that was pointed at a 45-degree downward with its back wheels in the air. The driver had tried to jump a curb not realizing there was an 18-inch drop-off between the gas station parking lot and the lot next door. His car was perched on the curb and he was in deep trouble. My first thought, which I said aloud, "Oh my. Sucks to be you."

I watched for a few minutes as two guys circled the car considering their options. The two guys circling the car were punks. They had body piercings everywhere, tattoos all over. I'd guess them to be about 20-years old. I'm just staring, amazed, wondering what these idiots were thinking when they tried to jump the curb. Then I noticed the car model. It was a newer model, luxury car. It was easily a $50k car. Then I got even more disgusted. These punks are driving around in daddy's car and just messed it up.

That's when I started realizing how wrong I was. There were three little kids still in the car and their dad was driving. I looked past the "punks" and saw a young Hispanic man and his wife, very shook-up, trying to figure out what to do.

These young white "punks" had stopped their car to help the Hispanic man in distress.

As I finished pumping, one of the "punks" called out at me. "Hey, can you give us a hand?" They had analyzed the situation and figured with 4 or 5 men they could lift the car off the curb and get this guy on his way. I would never have attempted that or even thought it was possible. But within about 10 minutes, 4 of us (through the very capable leadership of the "punks") got the Hispanic family on their way. The driver quickly grabbed his wallet and offered to pay the "punks" but they waved him off, got back in their car, and drove away. They didn't want money or recognition. They were just there to help.

I got back in my car feeling guilty for my quick judgmentalism. I wasn't happy I could help--I was aware that I would have just watched from behind my car if the "punk" hadn't called out.

Pride is so subtle. It twists its way through our hearts and makes us less than Jesus-like.

Proverbs 29:23- "A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor."

Are you following Christ or the Christians?

I got this quote off of a new pastor's blog my husband and I are reading. His name is Vince Antonucci. My husband heard this guy speak at a conference, and just recently started reading his blog. In this particular blog he is talking about physically becoming sick when he realized how far he had come from interacting with and reaching "lost people". At the end of this experience he summed it up with this:

We find God’s heart for lost people by being around lost people, and we lose it when we’re not. So here’s the question I continually have to ask myself: What can I do to get myself around lost people? Because if I’m going to improve at reaching lost people, I need to understand and have God’s heart for them.

His church is definitely on the edge, and we (Ken & I) love seeing how he continually has "the lost" in His head. His blog is a great read, and it has a different flavor than some of your typical pastor bloggers. He came out of a totally unchurched secular lifestyle and shares alot of himself in his blog, and has some great insight into reaching the totally unchurched... because he was one.

It's so easy as a Christian to isolate ourselves from the world as we try to keep ourselves and our families from temptation, but at some point we must come out... if we don't who will? Satan is already out there reaching them and enjoying watching the "Holy Bubble" or "Holy Huddle" so many of us live in.

"Father keep me open to anyone who may come across my path that may have no other opportunity to hear the gospel... Keep me out in the world so that I can be reminded over and over and over that it is for these that you came: the lost and dying and hurting and messed up hopeless people. They are still out there even if we ignore them... but you do not... You are just waiting for a willing soul to leave the Holy Huddle and become all that you created them to be. Thank you Father... for choosing to use me. I only hope I can be worthy of your calling."

Giving Up To Get What's Best.

All things work together for good according to those who love God and are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Have you ever given something up for God or allowed Him to take something away gracefully knowing that He who is able and is in control, has your best interest in mind. Isn't it so hard to believe that when you're in the midst of something that you have had to give up or had taken away. I think we all watched in great awe of how Jordan and Patience Leino gave up their son gracefully trusting that God who is able to heal knew what was best.

In a much minor but significant way, God has reminded me that so often if we will give something up we so badly want to hang onto, He will give us something so much greater. As some of you know about a month ago the night we got home from a long trip at 2am in the morning, I let our cat out, not sure how much he had gotten to be out while we were gone, and he got attacked by a dog and we had to put him to sleep the next day.

We had only had this cat for about a year, but he was the best pet. He loved the kids and slept at the foot of my bed or one of the kids beds every night. He would even wake us up if something was wrong with one of the kids. Anyway, I just didn't really understand why God had to take him away. I know there are so many things so much more important, but I really missed taking care of my cat and all the things you get use to doing with a pet. A few days after we had to put him to sleep, I called a friend to ask if she knew anyone who had any kittens because the kids and I were really wanting to get another one. She said her sister-in-law had a cat that had just had kittens and would be getting rid of them in a few weeks.

Well, we went over and visited her and played with her sweet kittens and planned to come back in a few weeks. Now I had met this lady before. She had had two kids at that time around the same ages as my two. A couple of years later we both had had a third and fourth about the same time, so we had 4 kids all within 3 months of each other in age. The first time I met her what I saw was a very attractive put together woman who seemed to have it all together, and her kids seemed very sweet and obedient. I thought, "I will have absolutely nothing in common with this woman, as my boys ran around wrestling and acting... well like boys...

There were many times her niece (our babysitter) would talk about how her aunt was at the end of her rope and how we should get together. There was always the thought of calling her, but I was controlled by my first impression, not what I know now was the Holy Spirit putting something on my heart to do.

From the first phone call asking about the cats... it was like calling an old friend. We talked about so many things without ever feeling like we were keeping the other one on the phone. Maybe we were so starved for adult conversation dealing with 4 kids, ages 6,5,3, and 2 all day long and homeschooling. We have since gotten our kids together many times, and they just click. I have had many friends as an adult, but none that just clicked like this. She is so laid back like me, and we struggle with so many of the same things, and our kids played great together (meaning they played and fought and played again like brother and sister).

A few days ago as I was thanking God for this friendship, and I began to think through that I would never had gotten to know this person if my cat had not been killed and her cat had not had kittens, and how God orchestrated the perfect scenario to bring us together. Now if God will go to the extent of bringing all this about to give me a friend, and maybe her a friend also, even when I ignored His attempt to get me to call her a year or two ago, how much more does He want to take all the good things in our lives and make them great. How much more does He want to orchestrate the perfect scenario to reach that one lost person or the millions who have never heard the gospel.

So next time when things don't seem to make sense, or maybe God has taken something away, or is asking you to give something up that is hard to let go of, don't let Satan get a foot hold by complaining or getting angry or getting depressed because things don't seem to be working out how you planned or wanted. Trust that God who knows all things, who is kind and loving and who only wants to bring people to himself, knows what is best. He may be wanting to give you something so awesome you can't even imagine, you just have to give something up to get what is best.

...Of course if you listen to Him in the first place He may not have to take something away to get your attention. :-)

61.2 Million People With No Relevant Witness

Recent findings include the fact that the population of metropolitan France now stands at 61.2 million people, while the number of births continues to rise and people are living longer.

These are the headline figures from INSEE's most recent population survey which provides a snap shot of the country on January 1, 2006.

Their work shows that the population of France is getting older with 16 per cent of inhabitants aged 65 years or older, which is a little over one per cent greater than ten years earlier.

In the same period, the proportion of young people below 20 years old dropped from 26.3 per cent to 25.1 per cent, while the proportion of people aged 20 to 64 years old is practically unchanged.

But again the number of births rose in 2005, with 807,800, close to the figure for 2000 (808,200 births) and confirms the trend towards an increase that has prevailed since 2003.

France, alongside Ireland, has the highest fertility rate among the 25 countries of the European Union.

Please pray with us for the 61.2 million people who have almost no relevant witness to the gospel. Just yesterday a pastor from England saw our website and contacted us saying he was interested in working with us to reach other cities in France... It's so exciting to feel like you are part of something much larger than yourself. God is doing some amazing things in and around us. Joining in praying for God's power to continue to be poured out over us and France and that we will see a pouring out of His Spirit all over France and Europe in our lifetime.

Answered By Fire

I watched a television special last night called, "Answered by fire." Answered by Fire is a two-part mini-series based on the 1999 East Timor conflicts that led to East Timor's independence. The story is a fictionalised account of a team of international observers, primarily police from nations such as Canada and Australia, working on behalf of the UN in order to arrange and run the vote for independence in East Timor. It is obvious early on that not all is well in the troubled region, with massacres of entire families leaving no doubt in the mind of the UN officers that the Pro-Indonesian Militia are attempting to subvert the independence proceedings. The list of voters seems to be becoming a death-list, scaring more and more from registering themselves.

It is about one of those brutal realities we in America and other civilized countries will probably never have to face: living in a third world country, being brutalized by militia with no protection from our government. Brothers and fathers being taken away never to be seen again, sisters and mothers taken to be raped over and over by the enemy and sometimes the corrupt government; little kids being sold into slavery, the sex trade, or to fight for the enemy...

I love and I hate watching these types of shows. It's really hard to watch, and you just want to turn the T.V. off and try to forget the reality; which is actually pretty easy as we turn up the air conditioner, go fix lunch, pick up the tons of toys our kids have strewn on the floor, and call a friend for coffee next week.

One line in the movie which was made by a Timorese translator working with the UN said, "If I were born somewhere else, I could go to school or get a job, and my mother would still be alive."Many innocent men women and children were slaughtered in this movie because they wanted to vote to become autonomous from the Indonesian Government. It is a great movie to watch if you can catch it when it is on sometime.

It renews my desire to pray for those around the world who live and have lived in this sort of atmosphere their whole lives. Those in Darfur who have been in pain and suffering for so many years. "Lord, have mercy on them and completely destroy their enemy." The common people in Iraq who are being killed every day only because of where they live. "Father, have mercy on them and spare their lives and let them know You as their Savior." The suffering orphans in Africa who are sick and starving to death. "Father feed them and heal them and let them find you as a Father."

And there are so many more around the world I know nothing about.... and in actuality it hurts to know more, but just because I want to stick my head in the sand does not mean it is not a reality for a 40 year old mom just like me across the world who is taken for the pleasure of an enemy, an 8 year old girl who is prostituted out in India, or a 4 year old in Africa who is sick and starving with no hope in sight.

Father, break my heart... keep my eyes open... and then drive me to my knees daily to do the only thing I can do... and that is to pray to the one who is in control of it all to find them and heal them and save them and have mercy on a lost and sick and sinful dying world...

Be Still And Know That I Am God

These past two weeks have been so awesome! ... and I am not sure why.

Maybe its because even though we never really stop doing homeschool... we have a great schedule going, I have two kids to homeschool this year, and I love Charlotte Mason (the schooling philosophy I follow), and they seem to really be learning.

...or maybe its because the weather is cooling down a bit and I ran 4 days in a row, 6-7 miles every day, and I wasn't able to do that last year. I would run one day and then have to take off two days. I am so excited about his Fall's road racing season.

... or maybe it's because there are so many birthdays between August and September in my family that there are parties every week... and I love parties! (I especially love it when it's one of my kids birthdays and our friends stay all day :-)

... or maybe it's the atmosphere that happens when school starts, and fall sports start, and you start hearing highschool bands, and you go to high school football games and relive you high school days (if they were good... and mine were).

... or maybe it's because my precious husband made dinner this past week for me, a 7-cheese Lasagna from scratch. It took him hours, and I think that is so romantic. I love a man who can cook something besides hamburger helper.

... Or maybe it's College Football Season!!!!!!! Go Vols!!! (by the time you read this hopefully Tennesse will have beaten Cal (UC Berkley... they are playing right now!)

...or maybe it's because both my husband and myself have sensed a quietness in our Spirit, a peace we have not felt in a long time or maybe have never felt... and we continually sense God saying, "Be still and know that I am God..." and when we went and found the passage in scripture (Psalms 46:10) we realized the rest said, "I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

... yes, I think that is it... that is why life feels so good right now. God is still in control... and He has my life in His hands.