I think it's about time I put up a new post. It's been about 6 months, a new baby, and a new direction in our lives, so I guess I will start sharing with all my friends who have been so sweet to email me and ask me what's going on.
Well, February 20, 2009, we had our 5th child, and I will say all the way up until he was physically out of my body I was stressed about having another child to take care of. I am not very organized, I like to fly by the seat of my pants, I was single until I was 30... and now 10 years later I have 5 kids. How did that happen!! Okay I know how that happens, but there is still a little bit of singleness in me that loves the quiet, wants to go on long runs and coach high school kids and tell them about a Savior who loves them, wants to go on mission trips and use my running as a tool to reach athletes and anyone else that will listen, isn't prepared to be challenged every moment of every day with discipline and the training of children. So needless to say I didn't understand why God would give someone like me so many kids to manage. I'm just not a very good mothering type.
But I will say, the second I saw my son (who we named Nathaniel Chase) my first thought was, "he's so cute", and I knew everything was going to be okay... except for of course everything I told you in the last paragraph. Chase is the sweetest baby, laid back and content to take everything in in stride. His brothers and sister absolutely love him, and there has not been one ounce of jealousy from any of them. I am truly blessed... overwhelmed, but blessed.
So on to this next phase in our lives. Well, God has closed the door with the International Mission Board with the Southern Baptists, and we are totally clueless as to what God wants of us and why He has taken us down this road. We still have a heart for church planting; we still have a heart for Europe; we have no idea why He has given us this passion; or why He has closed this door 3 times... but we are at peace. More peace than we have had in a long time. I can say we never had complete peace with the IMB, but were willing to walk down that road.
I say we now have peace because our future is truly in God's hands. We have no idea what tomorrow brings... but He does. We cannot tell anybody even what we think God is doing or might do, but it doesn't matter. We are pushing into Him and experiencing peace and love like we have never know. We know God will use this and is already using this greatly for Ken to minister to others in similar situations. So I will share more later, and you can call or email if you want more detail... but for now pray for us and the millions of others who have lost their jobs and homes and retirement and have no idea what tomorrow brings.
My sweet husband has also began blogging again and has a very honest openness about his /our struggles. If you've ever had a dream fall apart or seem like it will never happen, go read his blog.