Hanging on to nothing but Jesus

Has something ever been so heavy on your heart you have a hard time blogging about all the other great things going on:

We went to the fair last week: spent 10 hours walking around; seeing lots of exhibits; riding a few rides; saw a magic show; saw the pig races; ... basically we wore our kids slam out. We had to carry the oldest two the last couple of hours of walking because their feet hurt so bad (This is the first year we only had one double stroller). It was a blast though. I have to say my husband was so sweet in helping me do a scavenger hunt I printed out for my kids (which they could have cared less about). Of course, once I start something there's this competitive thing within me that needs to prove I can finish it, and he went to every out of the way exhibit and never complained once to help me complete my sheet. Sadly I did not get two of them, but my sweet husband was willing to run across the park and find the last two answers for me as our last deed for the night. I know he sounds pretty awesome, but knowing how much alike we are, he probably felt a small challenge to want to finish our scavenger hunt.

Also... It has rained!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not at the fair, bu the past two days. And it was not just a drizzel. It has down poured... it also thundered and lightninged so much and so close by I really thought it was going to hit our house. It was so beautiful!!

I have also been very content and happy homeschooling, training my kids up, organizing my house, and loving my husband....

Ken and I have loved getting more involved in our church and leading a home group...

...but I have to say contentment does not overwhelm me. I mean I am very content, but my heart has been so heavy for France. Even as God continues to make the path clear and do some awesome things... my heart is heavy. The smiles I see in my kids eyes I think of all the millions of kids that have no opportunity to hear the gospel. In the quietness in my home, I think of the spiritual quietness across Europe that is droning into the empty hearts of Europeans that is sending them to an eternity separated from Christ. I can't help but think who died today never hearing that Jesus came so that they may see, hear, and experience life...

I know Gods timing is perfect... but have you ever hung on to your last thread of faith, and the only thing that makes sense is sitting at the feel of Jesus and hanging onto His Word. We know God loves the French and Europeans more than we do. We know what He has put on our (mine and Ken's) hearts and continues to develop.... It's just so hard to wait... and wait... and wait... and wait some more... which I know forces me deep into knowing Jesus... but it is still so hard.... and then you continue to wait... and wait some more...

"Thank you Lord that Your ways and Your time are perfect... and that you love me and the French enough not to let Ken & I go too soon, because we want the greatest harvest for Your kingdom. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for bringing me to this point so that I have nothing left to understand or believe in but You."