My heart has been so full lately... full of heartache when I see the world around me... full of passion to reach them... full of God's love and God's view of wanting to reach them... full of passion for Gods word... and full of God's love for me...
My husband and I have felt bombarded with "situations" (some might call attacks from the enemy), but we know they are here to grow us. We know we have a calling on our lives, and we know we will never fulfill this calling unless we are willing to grow through all these challenges. I have been amazed at how my husband has been walking in the Spirit and handling all these "situations" with grace and God's love for others.
I on the other hand I have struggled greatly with the challenge of motherhood. I have wanted to walk away because of what I have seen in myself, and what my children have seen. I have been exhausted from lack of sleep, flustered by lack of schedule, overwhelmed by still attempting to clean my house to get it on the market, and pushed to my limit from 4 small kids who, I think, have taken a vow to challenge their mother all day every day all at the same time. My human nature has come to this strange conclusion that if I yell loud enough and look scary enough, they will listen... and they do after they get done crying. You just can't be told what to do out of a book. It all sounds great, but when it's coming at you "times 4", not including cleaning a messy house, laundry, meals, cleanup, diaper changes, helping with potty, and the never ending calling of "mommy!!!", it just sort of pushes you over the edge. (Boy it stresses me out just typing it).
But I know it is all for a reason. It is put here to grow me... and as God typically does, He does not give us anything new until we have gotten victory over this challenge... So watch out Satan! I want to go to France! People are dying and going to hell, and we want to get there! I am not a quitter or a loser! I have already won this one in Christ!... I just haven't reached the finish line yet!
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Phil. 4:13 (Isn't it ironic that this was what the speaker, Robby Robison, spoke about at our church this weekend).
I THANK YOU LORD THAT YOU ARE OUR VICTOR, MIGHTY WARRIOR, OUR COMPASS THROUGH THE STORMS... I LOVE YOU LORD!!
5 comments:
Hang in there and keep fighting the good fight. Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." I may not be with you in person but I'll be with you in spirit.
Hey there Gina, I hope this works (my comment) It didn't work before I think. Well, I just prayed for you concerning you and the kiddos. I can relate (for the most part!!) I was there once too, with 3 little ones in tow. The Lord taught me so much in those years, things that I really wasn't even aware of that I was doing (or not doing). He is strong when we are weak! Hey, pray for us as Randy is desiring to church plant~he has even mentioned France, believe it or not! HOwever, he hasn't taken the step to contact Ken about it. He has been reading Reggie McNeal's book The Present Future, among others and it has confirmed his desire to start a new church movement. Right now, we are in a very traditional church and they obviously can't catch his God-given vision. Well, sorry this is long~I should have just emailed you.
Love,
Peggy
oops, i didn't mean for it to be anonymous!! I'm not good at these things.
Peggy W
Gina, I so can relate to you... I realize that I don't have children of my own but God has called me into the lives of many children, so I do know what it is like to have many calling on your "services".
We too are trying to ready our home for sale. We have friends that are interested in buying it, they just have to sell their home first.... so we are in a holding pattern. And while we are holding, we are watching houses that we feel would "fit" fly off the market.
I feel your pain and frustration. Ya just want to get on with what you feel called to do. Thank you for the reminder that God is allowing the waiting for His glory.
Know that I am praying for you, my sister.
God will indeed reward your desire to seek after him with all that you have!!! Just remember, that satan will try and use everything in the book to create a stumbling block for you to take your eyes off your future and focus on the temperal. You two are an inspiration to many and God is going to use you in mighty ways!
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